Use gentle commitment escalation with kin

About this recommendation

Kinship connections may be permanently lost if an initial communication feels too overwhelming and demanding. Some connections may be learning they have a family member for the first time while simultaneously being asked to serve as a placement. Additionally, staff may feel that they need to move immediately to the next kin connection if an initial connection cannot serve as a placement.

However, engaging newfound kinship connections with gentler techniques from the start can help prevent losing important connections.

How to do this

• Develop a list of guiding questions for staff to be used in initial conversations. Staff should begin with smaller asks, especially if the kin is learning about a family member for the first time or has not been in touch for a long time. For example, staff may ask: “Do you have a family photo you can send?”
• Don’t limit initial conversations to placement discussions.  Even if a placement option is urgently needed, youth need a long-term support network too. Overwhelming kinship connections risks losing those connections.
• Make sure that kin are aware of other ways to support youth. If someone cannot serve as a placement option, they can still stay connected to a youth through visits or attending a planning meeting. Include as many kin as possible in your formal plans to stay connected.

Anticipated costs and benefits

Outcome data

While we don’t have exact data for this recommendation, anecdotal data from our members suggests that many kin who aren’t placements on day one eventually serve as placements and/or supportive connections later on.

Who's doing this

• Michigan explicitly asks identified kin to commit to staying in touch with youth on their Relative Notification Form
• Wisconsin has suggested questions for talking to kin.