Kin connections may be permanently lost if an initial communication feels too overwhelming and demanding. Some connections may be learning they have a family member for the first time while simultaneously being asked to serve as a placement.

Staff may feel pressure to move immediately to the next kin connection if someone can't provide placement, but engaging newfound kin connections with smaller initial requests can help prevent losing important relationships.

How to do this

Begin with smaller requests. Develop a list of guiding questions for staff to be used in initial conversations. Start with smaller requests, especially if the kin is learning about a family member for the first time or hasn't been in touch for a long time. For example, staff may ask: "Do you have a family photo you can send?"

Focus on connection before placement. Don't lead initial conversations with placement requests. Even if a placement option is urgently needed, building trust comes first. Let kin process the situation and ask questions before discussing their potential role. Overwhelming kin with immediate placement requests risks losing those connections entirely.

Offer alternative ways to stay involved. Make sure that kin are aware of other ways they can support the child or youth. If someone can't serve as a placement option, they can still stay connected through visits, phone calls, or attending planning meetings. Include as many kin as possible in your formal plans to maintain connection.

This strategy in action

Michigan explicitly asks identified kin to commit to staying in touch with youth on their relative notification form.

Wisconsin has developed suggested questions for talking to kin.

Resources